The Intruding Roommate

Episode 1 

I stood in front of Mom, dressed to go to the recital. As she fixed my hair, I moved my hands, rocked a little – something I did when I was nervous. Dad stood watching.  

“Tori, stop moving! Do you want me to fix your hair or not?” Mom pushed my hands back down  by my side, and continued to style my hair. 

“Mom, I’m really scared… I don’t want to sing in front of everybody… what if I mess up?”  

Before she could respond, Dad came and knelt down in front of me and looked in my eyes.  “Channel that fear, Torianna. You have to face it to overcome it. Use your fear as your power.”  

I looked up. “But I don’t want to be scared. I love to sing. But what if I mess    up?” 

Dad stood up. “You won’t.”  

Mom made a sound in her throat. “Don’t tell her that.’  

She came to me and put her arms around me. “Everyone makes mistakes, Tori, it’s not that big  of a deal – no one will get hurt if you make a mistake.”  

Dad said,  “But don’t worry,” with a reassuring smile, “my girls don’t make any.” 

I buried my head in mom’s chest as tears slid down my cheeks. Despite what Dad said, I knew I  still made mistakes. Too many. Regardless of what mom said… Well, my mistakes do hurt someone. Me.

I sat straight up in bed, my heart racing. I breathed a sigh of relief, realizing it was just a dream.  Yet all too real, with too many painful memories. I groaned and slid out of bed quickly, wanting  to rid myself of all unwelcome thoughts. That didn’t help at all, especially after  I checked my phone and saw that I had another performance booked for that night. I clutched the necklace I have had  since I was little as a reminder that I could do anything. The phone dropped out of my hand as I stumbled to the kitchen, made a cup of tea – hoping it would calm the pounding in my head, and tumbled back in bed – struggling to fall asleep as the fears continued to overcrowd  my headspace. 

 To be continued…